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I'm going to Boskone!

I have never been to a fan convention of any sort even though the idea has always been appealing to me. I remember back when I was 17 and a huge fan of Quake, there was some sort of massive con/LAN party being held in New York City that I tried and tried to find some way to attend, but never made it. I'm still kicking myself that I didn't go to Worldcon in 2004 when it was held in Boston -- we lived so close but for some reason the idea of going never even entered my mind, probably just because cons weren't things I ever did.

Anyway, this year (in about a month, in fact) I'm going to Boskone 44 in Boston. I've registered and reserved a hotel room, and figured out travel details (thanks to dfan), and now I'm excited and looking forward to going.

I don't really know what to expect. I've read some writeups of other SF cons, and generic "what cons are like" pages, but I suspect the actual experience is something else. I'm a little worried that I will have trouble meeting people because I am generally shy and introverted, but I also expect that many people who go to Boskone are in a similar boat so maybe it's easier to overcome, I guess. In any case, I think I will just make a special effort to talk to people and hopefully that will sort itself out.

Another thing that is novel about this is that Sarah isn't going. We discussed it for a while and decided that while it wasn't much more expensive for her to go (the hotel room price is the same for a single or a double room), neither of us was convinced that there would be all that much that she'd be interested in. We've only spent one night apart since being married (I went to a friend's party in Rochester, NY, and had a pretty awful time and came back as early as possible the next morning, and Sarah spent the night feeling very alone and didn't like it one bit), and we aren't sure how it'll go. It's not that either of us feels terribly needy or anything, just that we're best friends and spending nights together is a wonderful thing, and voluntarily not doing that feels strange.

But then there is the fact that at any point, my job could ask me to go away on a business trip without more than a few days' warning, and that would be a much less pleasant way to have to spend nights apart. They've never asked me to travel, because I've made it clear that I'd really prefer not to and they're respectful of that, but there is always the possibility. So we think maybe me going to Boskone alone voluntarily is a better way to experience nights apart at first, in case for some reason it happens again unexpectedly in the future.

I feel like I'm making us sound sort of dysfunctional but really we're not at this point. We both were when we were younger but that's over and things are good. This is just one thing we haven't tackled yet.

Is anyone else on my friends list going to Boskone? I know mabfan, matociquala , scalzi, pnh and tnh are, but I'm not really acquainted with any of them and plus, being SF professionals and all, I expect they'll be busy.

Also, if there is a central Boskone-attendees discussion forum somewhere, I can't find it. It seems like a big event without an online forum is pretty unusual, and I know I'd love to have some place to discuss whatever with other attendees. Am I just missing something?

I am excited!



( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 12th, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
Doesn't sound dysfunctional; I can understand the trepidation. David and I are probably apart 2-3 weeks a year with travel (I do it a lot for work, he does it a lot for sports I don't want to see), so I'm accustomed to it, but I still get edgy when we're not together for more than about four nights.

But when he's gone for just a night or two, I generally look forward to it. In most couples, there's things one person really enjoys that the other doesn't; I use nights alone to indulge in those. I can cook all the foods david doesn't like! (pasta with goat cheese and mushrooms is a standbye for David-is-travelling nights). I can stay up late watching movies and TV shows he doesn't like! or hang out with other friends, or go out and see a movie he doesn't want to see ... stuff like that. that makes it more fun than just sitting at home being lonely.
Jan. 12th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah, three or four nights is about as long as I can go without Iain for without getting fairly edgy.

Mind you, when he's away, I get to eat rhubarb and cherries and figs while listening to The Smiths.
Jan. 13th, 2007 03:42 am (UTC)
Thanks, it's good to hear that other couples have similar feelings. Sometimes I'm not really sure what's normal. I have friends who are constantly sent hither and yon by their companies and have no problem being away from each other often. That would drive me nuts, I think.

There are plenty of things I like to eat that Sarah doesn't, but not vice versa. I am sure there are things she will enjoy indulging in while I am gone!
Jan. 12th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)
Ha, Stb and I were the same way the first few years we were together. I had a total public panic attack when he went on a two-week kayaking trip with his best friend--that was our first "night" apart. So I like your transition idea. ;)

Anyway, kizlj has the right idea up there. And if all else fails, Sarah can spend the evening with us vagina ninjas. Wait, that sounded wrong. But you know what I mean. We would have no problem keeping her entertained. We are her e-posse, after all. ;)
Jan. 13th, 2007 03:44 am (UTC)
"Stb" is an odd way to spell Boris.

It's been almost five and a half years that Sarah and I have been married. I think it's probably about time we figured out the whole nights apart thing! I am sure she is glad you and the other womb warriors will be around to keep her company. :)
Jan. 12th, 2007 08:42 pm (UTC)
i like being away from dan for longer periods of time if i have to at all. when i'm by myself for an evening sometimes i get grumpy. however, him being home for break and me having the apt to myself for two weeks has been good for me. i stay up late and watch episodes of Full House :) , and also remembered how much i like staying up late and writing. it's helped me finish my grad school essays!

maybe she can have a tea party or dinner party with some friends while you are gone, and call you before she goes to bed for a bedtime story? (at least,that's what i've been doing and it's worked ok so far)..it's nice to see that you two are still so close and doing so well. xoxo. :)
Jan. 13th, 2007 03:47 am (UTC)
It is true that when Sarah's at work during the day I am more productive because I am not stopping to tell her about every neat thing I come across. I wonder if that productivity would extend over multiple days, if she was away for a while. Hmm.

We are definitely planning to call each other a few times a day. I am sure I will have a lot to tell her about and we will both enjoy hearing each others' voices.
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 15th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
Oh, excellent! I'd love to meet up with you at some point. That would be keen.
Jan. 15th, 2007 02:21 pm (UTC)
I tend to think that Boskone is an excellent convention to attend as your first one. Current Boskones are generally low-key, but with a lot of good programming and a well-run Con Suite. Also, there are parties in the evening, as there are at almost all conventions, so you have plenty of opportunity to meet people.

If I'm sitting in the Con Suite at some point, feel free to stop by and say hello.
Jan. 15th, 2007 03:10 pm (UTC)
That's good to hear. It sounds well-planned and well-run, so I wasn't too worried about feeling totally overwhelmed.

I'll look for you in the Con Suite. Thanks!
Jan. 15th, 2007 02:22 pm (UTC)
I wind up travelling a lot in my job, so we're fairly used to being apart, but that doesn't mean we enjoy it. I think it's healthy to have an occasional night apart, but a week at a time really sucks. I don't think it's unusual to want to sleep next to your wife, but I don't think you should have anxiety about it either.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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