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Improbable Meals

They said I could never top the $2 billion effort I put into the first Improbable Meal. A team of geneticists and biologists, the world's best, worked tirelessly for three years and cloned the dodo. It was an international event when the first healthy baby hatched and began to eat from the surrogate's eyedropper. It grew rapidly to a healthy adult — which I then slaughtered, cleaned, stuffed, roasted, and ate. I then shut down the project. A single dodo was produced, cooked, and eaten. The public hated it. If I was going to go to all the expense to clone an extinct species, couldn't I then reintroduce it to the wild? I told them it was obviously going against God's plan to bring it back.

It was a bit gamey.

That was a decade ago. I tried to come up with a way to top it for years without success. Then I came across these books while visiting Providence for the film festival. They detailed numerous eldritch horrors, the likes of which could supposedly scare a sane man senseless. Mundane creature-feature horror, in my opinion, but one caught my eye. An ancient and powerful being, slumbering deep beneath the ocean.

So I financed the expedition, no expense too great. It took nearly nine months, and the invention of a new, incredibly advanced deep-sea exploration vessel. I lost over thirty good men and women to gibbering insanity during the retrieval.

I'm having sushi tonight.



LiveJournal Rabbit Hole Day

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Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
aussie_nyc
Jan. 28th, 2005 02:55 am (UTC)
Noooooooo!
auraesque
Jan. 28th, 2005 03:45 am (UTC)
Haha! The last line had me laughing out loud. Happy Rabbit Hole Day!
kizlj
Jan. 28th, 2005 03:52 am (UTC)
that is awesome.
pididdle
Jan. 28th, 2005 04:25 am (UTC)
Haha!

Very good :D
celticgirl106
Jan. 28th, 2005 05:52 am (UTC)
I love your Rabbit Hole entries!
crisper
Jan. 28th, 2005 09:51 am (UTC)
Haha mmm-yeah, makin' sushi is all about three things: how sharp your knife is, how good your rice is, and how incomprehensibly ancient and beyond all mortal concerns your fish is.

I am pretty sure you can use mi-go in place of the seaweed in maki, once you pound them flat enough.
(Deleted comment)
kapnkaty
Feb. 18th, 2005 04:57 pm (UTC)
I visit from Metaqotes and i have to know, how much would a plate of Elder God Calamari cost?
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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