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Despite the fact that I haven't even read the first page of the book, I am posting a number of spoilers. Read on... if you dare!

  • Lord Voldemort is Harry's father.
  • "Phoenix" is a sled.
  • "Harry Potter" is actually Kaiser Soze.
  • The Order of the Phoenix is people!
  • Ron, Hermione, and all the work he's done for the government are all delusions in Harry Potter's mind, but he overcomes his problems and goes on to win the Nobel Prize.
  • Harry kills Lucius Malfoy, puts Cho on a plane to the U.S., and stays to run his café at Hogwarts.
  • Harry decides not to jump off the bridge, and Hagrid finally gets his wings.


So there you have it.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
storme
Jun. 24th, 2003 07:41 am (UTC)
One of those is accurate, worryingly.
westernactor
Jun. 24th, 2003 08:55 am (UTC)
Hee hee hee!
Too funny! Although I'm guessing Ryan knew that one for sure, anyway. (I mean, what else could it be? Something at a restaurant?)
rfreebern
Jun. 24th, 2003 10:43 am (UTC)
Re: Hee hee hee!
It could be the rules governing the organization of the Phoenix's constituent parts! The Alphabetical Order of the Phoenix, for instance.
westernactor
Jun. 24th, 2003 10:52 am (UTC)
I'm going to be as nice as I can about this...
...but would you just read the darn BOOK already?!? :)
off_coloratura
Jun. 24th, 2003 06:47 pm (UTC)
Wrong, wrong, wrong
The character who dies?

Harry Potter.

Free at last! Free at last!

(Anonymous)
Nov. 2nd, 2003 03:00 am (UTC)
yeah right!
wow.. pathetic...
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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